Trying to stay strong through fibro and bipolar..

It’s been a while since I’ve written on here. As you know from my previous entry I had a neck surgery and am still recovering from it. Meanwhile, I’m having upper body Fibro flareups which is just completely draining me. On top of that I’m feeling lonely and depressed, very irritable, anxious and aggravated. I wrote about the hot and sweat chills and I’m still getting them profusely I although I did buy a a new deodorant for specifically for hyperhidrosis and all that means is excessive sweating. So what I’m using is called zero sweat and keeps you up to seven days of protection. I seem to have to apply it every other day for it to work but so far it’s a very useful.More than any other anti perspirant. I’m just having a very hard time going through all these emotions and feelings because especially the irritability and and being aggravated is not part of my personality so I’m thinking it’s it’s has to do with hormones and menopause. Just one more thing to add to my list of fantastic things I need to take care of in my body. There’s always so much going on and it’s just hard to keep up with. Anytime I think I’m getting through it, I get overwhelmed and end up having anxiety attacks which in turn causes more sweating on top of these damn symptoms.

So an alternate route of how I’ve been feeling I decided to go for a walk this morning, it felt good on the same token it was very draining for me. I still have this neck brace on until the 30th of April, then I start physical therapy and through this am hoping to do regular tasks around the house take showers by myself, cook by myself, get dressed by myself and and eventually drive by myself it’s been almost a year since I’ve driven. Not sure when I’ll be able to drive, right now my whole upper body is flaring from the Fibro, and my neck is just sore from from the surgery. Still just taking rides in the car with my husband and I get bounced around a lot and it gets really uncomfortable. I have to remain patient with myself and allow my body to recover as long as it’s necessary.
Between the arthritis and the fibromyalgia completely wiped out. All my muscles in my neck and my shoulders feels so weak, that it was somebody else can hold my head up! LOL! Gotta try to have humor even with the crappy days.
Truth be told, I’m just lonely today, I feel like I did everything I could today and I just need to rest. The thing went rest is I’m always resting, my body is just always exhausted… I killed 3 cups of coffee this morning and it did nothing for me!

I’m trying to say strong as I can, but it takes everything that I have inside of me to get through the day. I push myself and push myself until I end up in a flareup and but you get so sick of laying down I mean what do you do? It’s like I’ve tried all the positive things and now I just want to lay down for the rest of the day and I have a 1 o’clock nurse coming to my house to check on me and I just want to go to bed now. I have to wait 2 1/2 hours from now but in my mind that it’s all day I feel like I have to wait. I’m learning patience a day at a time am not always the best that it but as long as I keep trying I think I should be okay. Just struggling today a little and I know you guys understand whoever’s reading this right now. I hope this can benefit you in some way.

I wish you many blessings and a pain free day
Gentle hugs XO!

~Raquel

Raquel Palen

Hi guys, my name is Raquel. I'm 42, married to a very loving and supportive husband with 2 beautiful children. I've been living with chronic pain for many years. I was finally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia by my rhuemetolgist February 2018. It has drastically changed and rearranged my life. I also have been living with bipolar, anxiety and depression for over 20 years. These blogs are my stories of survival and hope, and providing information that I've learned about living with invisible illnesses along the way.
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